feelings come out

I am finally going to admit it I like this guy at my school. And I am sick and tired of us giving eachother the cold shoulder. I am sure if I had enough courage maybe me and him could have a conversation again. He used to give me a hug and now I am lucky if me and him even look at each other and I will admit it does make me sad. There has three days in a row where I actually started crying almost during school because I saw him. I know it sounds imature, but it is my feelings. And I pray to god he never reads this because I would never want him to know. And I know he is paobably still mad at me for getting him written up. But I am so sorry. I wish me and him could be friends but it seems like we just can't. I don't know what it is. I have never actually felt what it feels like to have a real crush but for once I have. I mean I have had so many boyfriends; never a crush. Never a crush that when I see him I actually wnat to look my best. And to me I don't really give a flip about his girlfriend. But hey these are my feelings not his. But if he ever does read this then I'll repeat it one more time... I am soooooooo sorry.