I promise, I tried.

I promise you daddy I tried
I promise you momma I didn't know
I tried to stop
Because you asked me to daddy
I tried to stop so much
But it's not something that you can do cold-turkey
It's an undying habit
A punishment I cannot escape
No one sees the things
That linger deep inside
Did you ever wonder why I hardly ever eat?
I never open up enough
To tell the things I've seen
The screaming
The yelling
The crying
The dying
Or that one night
I was warned not to say a thing
But I did instead
I just didn't know it's meaning
Now I live a life
A life full of pain
That I keep hidden on the inside
There's no showing this despair
The hate it burns
With passion
Deep inside my heart
My soul
And everything in between
I can no longer hide it
I am taking off the mask
But not asking for help
I'm not that feeble yet
And never plan to be
The ambiguous life I live
Will always remain the same
No matter how I tried to stop
The voice just keeps calling my name
And you never notice
Which is why I live this lie
I hope for you not to know
Or notice these shallow wounds
I will stop
When I can
But right now
I'm trying
Yet, sadly dying at the same rate